So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
