just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
