he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
