our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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