I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
