My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this boner is exhausting
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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