well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
