you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
