she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
