so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
