Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Two words: blizzard sex
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
