found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
