somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to be your penis for a week.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
