bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
