talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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