yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pappa wants mamma naked
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
