the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
