If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
