her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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