ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
