Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
