It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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