The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
