just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Randomize
