Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
