More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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