She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there was a trapeze. enough said
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
