we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how can u be prego again
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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