Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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