he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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