I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
