I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
