Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think my moral compass just broke
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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