Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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