Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the day after is always just damage control
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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