M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
