I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
