2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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