i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
