Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
