NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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