i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Let's paint friendship bongs
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
