i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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