I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it's like heaven, but drunker
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
