Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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