i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
