I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
