matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we should paint friendship bongs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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