I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
