If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
