I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
