you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
