I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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