And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize