I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
