I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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