I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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