Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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