Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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