the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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