I'm gonna have a badass scar
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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