My nipple is on Facebook.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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