I wish my penis had an off switch
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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