i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
