I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize