He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
