She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
